Video Killed the Radio Star and the Rise of the Dance Mat

"Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Buggles came on the radio today and it never fails to remind me of something.

Namely, these bad boys:

Remember those? They took off in a huuuuge way. People were pounding their feet on plastic mats around the country -- around the world. It was probably the start of what's now become the standard combining-gaming-with-movement trend. They haven't really gone anywhere; indeed, they're pretty big in schools to tackle our raging child obesity problem and generally have more interactive schooling.

The reason that song reminds me of dance mats is because I used to kick so much ass at that song. We'll overlook the fact that I believe it was one of the "easy" ones. It was a nice song to do, nice and rhythmic for someone who isn't naturally blessed with a sense of that.

So whenever I hear that Buggles song it makes me what to do crazy scissor leaps and stamps.

Now to reveal the terribly deprived and poor childhood that I had, but we never had a dance mat in our family at the height of the craze. My experience of them were always at other people's houses. I loved those things so much I could have happily danced myself to oblivion, so maybe it was good that I didn't have one.

However I did go to a car boot sale around the time, or at least slightly past the peak of the mat-buying frenzy. I saw mats being sold for only ten pounds! And they plugged straight into the tv! The box showed that it looked exactly like the awesome ones everyone else had for their consoles.

Of course, that's always lies. When I got it home and opened it up, the mat was a complete cheap rip-off. Oh, and the graphics and 'songs'! It was like what you got while waiting for the Spectrum to load a cassette. I ended up playing it about twice and then putting it away forever to stop its possessed sounds.

Plus there's always that danger of play this too much in your bedroom and one day you'll crash straight through the floor.

Am I Really Considering a 100km Challenge?

So I found out about something today and the crazy thing is, I really want to take part.

It's Trailtrekker, a fundraising event by the charity Oxfam. It involves

WALKING 100 KILOMETRES.

I felt the need to internet shout that, because to me that's a holy-god sort of distance. I live in the centre of a city and my place of work is about seven minutes away. Which involves sitting at the computer a lot. At the moment walking is limited to accessing important places such as the kitchen, the lounge and the bedroom.

So why in hell's name am I suddenly taken with this idea of walking 100km?

In fairness to the event, there are three stages one can enter, from 40km, to 60km and the 100km doozy. I could settle for the other two. But I don't even want to do that! I want to do that 100km, damnit.

I don't think I've ever really had a goal like this before in my life. People might point out the long time I spent in education, filling myself up with ever more qualifications and certificates, but to me that was just...life. It's what I always intended to do, not something I specifically targetted myself toward.

This would take practice. I know that as of right now, I'd get about 3km and keel right over. I would need to do some serious training. I'd have to plan walking routes, build my stamina, practice walking with a heavy, heavy rucksack. I would be getting some awesome exercise which I know I really do need.

I think what most attracts me to this is the fact that it's a walking event. A marathon sounds like the type of thing I've expected to be waiting for me when I reach hell. But walking -- I do that every day! Stick rocks in my way, throw up some hills, drag it out for 100km, it doesn't matter because walking is totally my thing. I'm practically an expert at it. I don't need to learn any mad new skills, I just need to improve on what I already know.

The fact that it takes place in the Yorkshire Dales National Park is rather appealing, too. Some of the photos of that place are stunning. I can't resist rolling green hills, craggy rocks and stone steps leading to new places.

 I am well aware that I'm probably just fooling myself right now, that it's just another one of my spur of the moment fanciful ideas that will never get past this stage. And I feel even if I started training for it now, I still wouldn't feel prepared for the next event, over a full year from now.

But as they say, negitivity gets you nowhere, and it's never a good mood with which to start something.

Fact is Brooker, if you really want to do this, it's down to one person only.

A Call for a New Conversational Convention

So there's one thing I dislike about going to the Doctors.

Generally, the whole experience is fine. Ever since I've been let into the adult world, left to sort out every facet of my own life, I've been pretty good about going to the Doctors should there are anything concerning. It helped that the health centre was on the same road I lived. Also every single Doctor I've seen has been incredibly nice and very helpful. I have a shedload of respect for those guys.

It's not as though all my visits to the Doctor have been a walk in the park. Most haven't been for anything major,  but one time I got packed off to the hospital in a non-urgent ambulance, to sit in a fair amount of discomfort for four hours, then to get gowned up, x-rayed and generally sat in various hard plastic chairs clutching my possessions in a plastic bag in between. I'd had shoulder and lung pain, and a slightly fast heartbeat had been concerning enough for the nurse to send me to the hospital. Eventually it turned out to be pleurisy. (That link makes it sound terrifying. Mine was only a tiny case, seemingly coming on after a normal cold). And despite never having been in a hospital for my own reasons, and having left the house six hours earlier with no clue that this is where I was going to end up, I was serene throughout. If anything bad was going to happen, I was in the best ruddy place.

(And a four hour wait to then been seen by doctors, have an x-ray, get a nurse checking on me while I wait and giving painkillers should I be too uncomfortable and generally finding out what's wrong, all for free -- as it were? I'd do that wait any day. Maybe there are a few problems overall, but the NHS is a bloody marvellous thing.)

And today I was stabbed with a needle, had a part of my skin scraped off and then cauterised. Heard my own skin sizzling and everything. Jolly good fun!

So they haven't all been a delight. But visiting the Doctors is nice. Even if I'm going for something completely ordinary. It feels like I've been given a extra few months of clear, excellent health. Because if I were dying of something, especially slow and wasteful, the doctor would be able to tell as soon as I walked in. That's how it works, right?

Annnnyway. The Thing.

There should be a convention that states that doctors should say at the end "That's the end of the session. Thanks". Because otherwise I sit there like a lemon, wondering if they're about to tell me more. And they sit there looking at me, no doubt thinking I'm about to say something. Eventually I make an awkward "so...uh...thanks! That's really great! Thanks! Bye!" and shuffle out of the door, half-expecting them to shout after me "Where are you going, we're not done! There's still a needle in your arm!"

It seems to happen every time. Even with the super friendly doctors, there's always that awkward pause at the end. So if we had some kind of firm, final sentence, it would makes things a lot better.

Otherwise I'm going to fill the silence with increasingly inane things. Until finally I blurt out "I love you!" or some such.

The Crazy, Addictive World of Draw Something

There's something else that I've only just got into. Now at least with this one, I'm not outrageously late to the party (I'm never late to a party. I try to be, but that usually means waiting for five to ten minutes after the given time and not being able to just linger around any longer and invariably turn out to be the first one there).

Draw Something. 

Before I got a smart phone I was one of those people who would get angry at the word app. It's application! There's a perfectly good word for it right there! Have we become so stunted in this new technological world of ours that we can't even finish a word, never mind a whole sentence?

Now it's all "I just downloaded this sweet new app!" (I lie. I never say the word sweet unless something is literally sweet).

But oh boy, is this little app addictive. So simply addictive.

You draw something (who'd have thought!). It gets sent to someone else. This could be a friend connected via email or Facebook or if you know their username -- or just a complete randomer. I like this latter a lot. So it gets sent to them. Once they're done their bit, you get to watch them guess what you sent (amusing in itself) and then guess their drawing. Then you draw another. And so on and so forth, ad infinitum.

What's especially nice about thise game is that it's not inherently competitive. You really feel inclined to make your drawing as clear as possible to give the other person a good chance. You both receive coins for each time either of you gets the word right, so you're not actively trying to make them lose -- it would only result in a loss for yourself.

And you start getting favourite players. In essence, those ones who prove most competent. Those ones with whom you can make chains of thirty rounds or more because you're just so darned good at this malarky. The ones who draw more complex, interesting pictures and utilise more colours. I played against one guy who did a stunning little picture of Wonder Woman. I knew what he was drawing as soon as he did the thick black hair, but I kind of regret guessing so quickly so I could have watched the whole detailed process. It's on a MOBILE SCREEN. How the hell do you draw such masterpieces on that? All of my faces are invariably crazy-eyed because I can't even dot the screen right. 

It's not massively complex. You only have a limited amount of letters which means when you've played it enough -- or, *cough* far too much -- you start anticipating regularly appearing words just by the jumble of letters at the bottom of the screen. But its simple nature is what makes it so addictive. Rounds are short and snappy so you feel like you can play just...one...more...

OK, I admit, I have sat there and laughed while watching people struggle to spell words like Olympics and Cemetery. The heartbreaking thing is that they know what word it's supposed to be! But by jove, those letters won't go in the right order. At least they managed it eventually. One poor soul simply could not get Einstein right and had to forfeit.

So yes, my life is being consumed by this game at the moment. It's all right. It happens. I understand these blocks now. It's like the time when I got addicted to Oreos. Or houmous. I just ride them out knowing that eventually my capricious brain will move onto something new soon enough.

Oh, but one final thing. If you WRITE THE WORD I'M SUPPOSED TO BE GUESSING on a game called DRAW SOMETHING, I will delete you immediately.

Spoilsports.